All in one shop!!!

Ever had one of those days when dignity and poise just goes completely out of the window?

Now I'm not the most dignified person to begin with, I do try to conduct myself with a commendable air of grace and elegance I really do... however those who witnessed me falling backwards out of a four foot high hot tub after an unsavoury amount of Jack Daniels and champagne on my 20th birthday last year would agree that it doesn't always go to plan. 

My regular shopping trip to Boots yesterday was unfortunately no exception...

I entered the shop with the aim to buy a powder compact and some conditioner and for most normal people this mundane choir would not normally result in an embarrassing catastrophe.

First stop: the powder compact in the make-up aisle. 

I picked up said powder compact and in order to determine that it was my regular shade of washed out British paleness; I opened it- not unusual to do whilst purchasing make-up. 

However what was unusual was that upon opening the spherical container, it shattered into three pieces in my clumsy hands. 

The first piece, (thankfully), remained in my hands. 

The second piece clattered noisily to the floor by my feet and attracted the attention of the nearest shop assistant as well as the attention of six or seven fellow shoppers around me- one of whom deemed it necessary to start an ironic slow clap. 

The third piece, not only dropped noisily to the floor but it also managed to land on it's side and therefore began rolling along the ground- (attracting further attention) but it did not stop there! It continued rolling to the end of the short aisle, across the width of the small perfume aisle and began a journey down the stairs to the photo processing and digital camera department. I would blame sub-standard craftsmanship on behalf of L'Oreal as opposed to my own clumsy nature but after years of mastering the ability to embarrass myself publicly, it would be pretty pointless. 

Second stop: Aussie hair conditioner.

This was perhaps the most unbelievably embarrassing moment that anyone has ever had whilst purchasing hair conditioner.

After spending the last couple of days stealing my housemate's hair products, I decided that it was about time that I re-stocked my own supply.

I did not however want to purchase my usual brand, I had in actual fact got used to Claire's favourite brand of hair conditioner and also thought that if I bought the same stuff, she would be able to take back a proportion of the bottle which was rightfully hers. 

As I couldn't remember which specific variety of Aussie hair conditioner was for me, I opened the first bottle and gently squeezed it near my face in order to determine that the smell was familiar enough to warrant it's purchase.  

It was. 

Happy with my decision, I toddled of to the queue with my sneakily replaced compact powder and bottle of Aussie hair conditioner. 

Whilst in the queue, I decided to double check that the conditioner was in fact the correct variety and gently squeezed the bottle as I had done before.

However, instead of receiving a gently wafted scent; I actually ended up with the contents of the bottle, exploding all over my face- up my nose and into my mouth- wonderful.

Needless to say, I hurriedly left the queue and replaced the partially empty bottle with another. 

What surprised me, and will surprise me until the day that I die, was that my loving Mother- who was crying with laughter; neglected to inform my that I had a blob conditioner positioned on the end of my nose- until after I had made my purchases and left the shop. 

Shopping can be extremely hazardous folks!