I have hated food shopping since I was a little girl and NOTHING has changed.
I don't know what it is about food shopping but there must be a reason why some people, who may be approachable in other locations, just turn into complete arse's whilst at the supermarket.
I think that this is something which needs to be investigated further.
The reason for this carefully worded 'post'... cough (rant), is mainly due to the fact that I got crushed today whilst doing my weekly food shop at Sainsbury's.
Some strange creature- who smelt like an ash-tray and looked like a scrunched up version of the miserable 'Mona Lisa', pinned me against a pillar in the supermarket with her trolley, as I attempted to casually browse the cheese section.
At first I thought that this was simply an oversight on her part- that maybe, she just hadn't seen me there... but unbelievably, this was not the case!
After a few seconds, I cleared my throat in an attempt to attract her attention but she merely glanced back at me, before taking her sweet time choosing a particularly smelly and sweaty looking cheese.
Maybe like choice of dog, you can tell more about the personality of someone from the type of cheese that they choose to eat.
So there I was, my life passing before my eyes as I stood pinned against a pillar in Sainsbury's, my left arm going numb as I clutched a chilled bottle of milk.
At the time, I wasn't even sure that I would ever get free.
Maybe if supermarkets had lifeguards sitting on really tall chairs so that they could watch over the shop, they could rescue the naive food shopper like me, from brutal predators such as 'Scrunched Mona'.
Eventually Scrunched Mona chose her cheese and waddled off but not before shooting me a glance which plainly said: 'talk to me... and I will eat you'.
Lovely.
I think you have to be aggressive when you go food shopping, otherwise you just won't survive necessary supermarket trips.
I even managed to have issues in the car-park whilst trying to leave.
Stupidly, I chose a route out of the car-park which takes you across the front of the shop, meaning that you meet three zebra crossings on the way out.
The first two were relatively easy to pass over and I confidently shifted into second gear as the exit was merely yards in front of me... but then... I stopped.
I couldn't help it.
There was a sweet old lady fighting to steer her shopping trolley across my path and I had to let her go.
Problem is, when you wait for one, you have to wait for the rest of the world, as each case seems just as desperate as the last...
...he has kids with him and clearly needs to get back to his car soon, I'll let her go, she looks friendly enough, the next man has a slight limp, he'd better go too and so on and so forth.
Needless to say, I wasn't popular with the angry motorists queuing up behind me.
I might have to invest in Karate lessons or something, just so that I can boost my confidence levels and learn to be more aggressive... either that, or just stop eating.
What's worse, is that I have just discovered that whilst in an understandable state of shock, I must have picked up the wrong variety of cheese and so now I must survive on 'Organic Wenslydale' for the foreseeable future, as punishment for my timidness.
Thank god clothes shopping isn't this dramatic, otherwise I just don't know what I'd do.
